Hell I have become a grumpy old man.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day, that’s the day that traditionally we make resolutions on how we are going to behave for the next year. What are my resolutions going to be?

Something boring like quitting smoking? Or something exciting like taking several holidays aboard.

Several years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never care what people thought of me and that I would never again become a workaholic, I think I have managed to catch myself just in time on that one. I have a job which I enjoy, which pays reasonably well (no one tell PM as he’s about to get hit for another pay rise soon).

BUT and as you can see it’s a big BUT, I found myself telling my bosses how to behave, (it’s a throw back to when I could). In future they can make their own mistakes, why should I try to help them by pointing out their errors. It never makes them happy or display feelings of gratitude, the reverse in fact.

So in future I’m going back to the way that I want to be, untouchable, uncareing, unfeeling and totally out for myself and my family.

Well last year objectives were achieved, they mean nothing to anyone except me. However they make me feel all warm inside and so long as I do not become an invalid or die will ensure that I have a comfortable old age.

So what have I decided?

Holidays
Untouchable
Uncaring
Unfeeling


Hell I have become a grumpy old man!

I want to be free.

This is the first Blog that I have written using word recognition software. It's called Dragon Naturally Speaking, so far it seams a brilliant programme. However, I'm sure it will take time before I get used to it. It should, save some of my many spelling mistakes.

Just what it must seem like to the wife doing the washing up in the kitchen and me set here talking to myself, it must seem that I am off my head, which is not a surprise to anyone who knows me as most people think that I am already.

Least, the wife does, she has a grin right across her face, how sarcastic women can be without saying, anything just a look and no words can make you feel like an idiot.

Well it's been a long time since I updated this blog where the time has gone. I have no idea, but put it down to old age. Front now on, we will have to get back to normal and update this thing, almost everyday

Christmas as normal was spent with the wife’s family. I have spent it with the family (living dead), spent a fortune on people I don’t like, buying them things that they didn't want and what did I receive in return two pairs of shoes, which don't fit.

Tell me, what kind of Christmas did you have? Bet it was better than mine, every year, I say the same thing that I will not do Christmas.

In fact I’m just not sure why I put myself through this every year. Might it be that time in my life when I just want to break free? Not the freedom of running around in some distant land throwing my clothes of and screaming. No bugger that. It’s just what I do mean.

I’m fed up of being respectable and honest and nice to people.

I WANT TO BE FREE TO DO AND SAY ANYTHING THAT I WANT.

Trials and Tribulations

Well its one week before Christmas, the wife’s birthday is over, thank heavens for that as I have no idea what to buy her for presents.

Why is it women are so hard to buy presents for. You would think that they would be easy, you would think that you could buy them perfume, chocolate or other small items But no it doesn’t’t work quite like that.

I love my wife very much but there are times when is she is one massive problem usually at Christmas or her birthday. My problem is that they both happen in December each year.

Being a man what chance do I have?  there is no way that I can find gifts that will suit her and please her. So once again I like many men at this time of year am in trouble with she who must be obeyed.  

Wouldn’t’ it be nice if just once we could get it right and not have to face the trials and tribulations that will be heaped upon our heads over the next few days.

My Hero.

The director of a local charity had never received a donation from the town's most successful business, so he asked for a contribution.

"Our records show you make £500,000 a year, yet you've never given a penny to charity," the director began. "Would you like to help our community by doing so now?"

The boss replied "Did your research show that my aged mother is no longer able to care for herself, and is currently in an expensive nursing home?"

"Um, no," mumbled the director.

"Or that my brother is not only blind, but unemployed?"

The stricken director began to stammer out an apology.

"Or that my sister's husband recently died in an accident," said the boss, his voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three kids to look after?"

The humiliated charity director said helplessly, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"So," said the boss, "if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"



Sent to me by the bitch (she thought correctly that it would appeal to my sense of hummor...

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I ever in trouble, I need to come up with a great birthday present for the wife, by next Thursday. Or I will suffer a horrible fate. DEATH BY NAGGING.

But that’s not all I then need to find her a Christmas present for the next week.
If you have any ideas please, please let me know.

No clothes. Smelly's, pets, soft toys, chocolates.

Prize for the person who saves the day.

Just what is going on?

Just what is going on?


On my way to work yesterday, I was “carved up” twice by other motorists. Some people just do not seem to care these days. Whatever happened to the joys of motoring, it’s more like the old movie Death Race.

What I would like to do is when this happens is to take a picture of the morons and publish it here on the blog. In fact anyone who anoys me could well find themselves being published. After all the way I look at things is if someone’s going to go out of their way to annoy me then I’m prepared to go out of mine to get even.

In fact I’m a great believer in the old saying “I made it up and I’m old”, always get even but do it first.

Hey it’s Saturday, guess what I have the pleasure of doing this morning. Present shopping for the wife’s birthday next Friday and also for Christmas presents for her and the rest of the clan.

My attitude to Christmas Presents is it’s a complete and utter waste of money. YOU SPEND MONEY YOU CAN ILL AFFORD, ON PEOPLE YOU DO NOT LIKE, ON THINGS THAT THEY DO NOT WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THEY DO THE SAME FOR YOU.

The shopkeeper who thought of this atrocious idea must be laughing in his grave, because all of the shop owners who have succeeded him are. Just look at the over priced rubbish they try to sell us at this time of year.

Well I’m back from a mornings shopping in our fair city of Truro, what a waste of time. A wallet with money in it, three hours, what do I have to show for it. Soar Feet for one thing, bruised sides. Where the great unwashed humanity have been pushing and shoving me. The old ladies are the worst. When I stepped back to let one elderly lady out of a shop door she was closely followed by what seemed to be the rest of the inhabitants of a large housing estate.

Items purchased.

One birthday card
One crossword game for the mother in law.

Bugger all else.

Am I ever in trouble, I need to come up with a great birthday present for the wife, by next Thursday. Or I will suffer a horrible fate. DEATH BY NAGGING.

But that’s not all I then need to find her a Christmas present for the next week.
If you have any ideas please, please let me know.

No clothes. Smelly's, pets, soft toys, chocolates.

Prize for the person who saves the day.

Cut off your nose to spite your face

The Un-National Health Service.

The Un-National Health Service.


Never mind the national lottery, try the National Health Lottery. Works by post code or who you know or how much money you have to pay for the free service.

What did Aneurin Bevan say, "We have been the dreamers, we have been the sufferers, now we are the builders. We enter this campaign at this general election, not merely to get rid of the Tory majority. We want the complete political extinction of the Tory Party.".

After all never mind the people who pay for your service just let them die, because as we all know dead people do not vote or write letters or complain. Now we have National Health Managers making decisions about who and when treatment should be given to patients. Not the trained medical staff.

May be the administrators of the National Health Service would like to perform some operations, there that’s a way to save money, you can imagine some white collar worker who has just told a surgeon he could not labour party
Perform any more operations this month because he was too expensive, then carrying out a few heart transplant operations himself.

Never mind you will die, it will make their figures look good and help to balance the books.

Might I be so bold to make a suggestion? Could not these good people practice their medical skill on some of the balmy politicians who come out with this crap? They have a manta, save money, meet targets, save money, and meet targets.

Well and everyone else in this country are coming to the conclusion that we might use one to. GET STUFFED, GET STUFFED.

Here in Cornwall, we are slightly backward, so are some of our surgeons. Praise be to god. One did not have waiting lists, now we all know that administrators can not stand anyone sticking out from the norm. So what do they do? Yep you guessed it. MAKE PATIENTS WAIT.

Now if this is making you feel faint, or raising your blood pressure you have two choices.

One, if you are an ex prime minister you can be admitted at once and undergo countless tests.

Or two, you can join some of the people on this list. Or you can because you are not important (unless your vote is wanted), try this approach.

Do I sound miffed or annoyed? Well I am. Not at this blatant disregard for promises made during an election, that I can live with. After all none of us are stupid enough to believe a politician.

What upsets me is that I never wanted this blog to be used for any comments about politics. It’s meant for me to let of steam about things that wind me up every day of my life. So to keep things in perspective, here I go.


THE WIFE. LIFE, DEATH AND TAXES.

Im not a celebrity so leave me alone.

I’m not a celebrity, so leave me alone

Now I do not know where in the world you might be, but here in the UK one of those reality television programmes has just finished (thank god). Trivial rubbish that they are. Take a bunch of minor celebrities and place them in a jungle environment for two weeks.

Well if I had my way they would have been left there for two YEARS, without daily food drops, medical advice or television cameras.

What did we have to look at has been soap stars, failed comedians, a child singing star, well past his prime, a well I’m not sure what you would call him (antique dealer, comedian, walley) and an Ex Prime Ministers Daughter. Who until the series started almost no one in the country had ever heard off.

Who won?

Only in England, it was the woman who in the first few days could not be bothered to use the toilet in the middle of the night but peed beside her bed (with such ease, one wonders if she is used to doing that sort of thing)

Yes, you guessed it the daughter of the Iron Lady. Carol Thatcher.

Personally I would like to think that she did it on her own merit, a formidable lady in her own right. But what does she do, on the night she won. Keep making comments about her mother, and voting.

They should all be reported to the relevant animal rights organisations in Australia, it can not have been very nice for the bugs and snakes that were placed in cages and pits to have this crazy bunch of people rolling on them and eating them ( kangaroo bollocks for one). Just think how the kangaroo might have felt, after all fancy seeing your private parts sliding down her throat.

Smoking a rich mans drug

Smoking a rich mans drug

When I was a very young man (not that many years ago), smoking was a poor person’s desire. The rich have always had more sense that to spend money to destroy their health. Now days a packet of Twenty cigarettes costs £5.

The maths is very easy £5 X 7 days = £35 X 52 weeks = £1820. That’s how much it costs these days. No longer a poor mans problem.

The reason for this ramble is that for the past 38 years I have been a Twenty a day man, at today’s rate that means that I have spent over £69, 000. Hell that’s real money.

What could I have done with all that money? Well I could have brought

Renault Clio Dynamique                              = £ 7,900
Top of the line laptop                                   = £ 1,000
Digital camera                                        = £    250
Designer suits (5)                                   = £ 1,500
Martell V.S. Coqnac (10 bottles)                         = £    160
DVD player (with hard drive)                              = £    500
Deposit on a flat                                   = £25,000

Total                                             = £36320

That still leaves over £33,000 left over. WOW with that I could buy 6,600 packets of cigarettes and smoke to my hearts content.

See I am addicted to the bloody weed.

If our government really wants to help people to stop smoking then they should banish the sale of cigarettes across the whole national. Well that will not happen as they like the tax money too much.

Lets face it people who die from cigarettes do not vote, but large tobacco companies spend money like water at election time. Plus they have thousands of workers.

So let’s cut the crap, the government could not give a toss about the health of the nation. They just want the money and your vote. After all they have increased the tax on cigarettes over the past 15 years by some 215%.

Remote Control

Well ?

I walk and so does money my money

I walk and so does my money.

Back in the mists of time (about 7 years ago), one of the very large Insurance Company’s had a bright idea of starting up an internet bank. Just how they came upon the name of "EGG" I have no idea.

Millions of small investors, brought their allotted shares. Not too many because the company wanted to save the bulk of the shares for the big institutions.

Now I seem to remember that the shares at the floatation were priced at 1.60 each and small investors could only buy 470 of them, each.

After all of this time, and never having paid a premium the insurance company wants to buy them back. WAIT FOR IT, AT THE PRICE OF £1.18. Not in cash mind you, but in shares, Pru shares.

Now when they were trying to sell EGG back in 2004, they wanted over £2 a share but when it comes to buying it back. Bet you can read my mind.

So far, from rewarding their loyal investors they are taking them to the cleaners. Why am I surprised at such behavior, by now at my time of life I should expect treatment like this?

Carry on the Pru, I hereby swear that you will never see another penny of my money. Egg accounts will be closed, credit card destroyed. All investments in the future will be checked very carefully to ensure that your dirty little hands never touch my money again.

I hope that others will do the same.

Today is an I Want Day

Today is an I Want Day

What do I mean by that, well since I opened my eyes this morning it seams like all I have heard is I/We want.

On breakfast news, there were union members demanding that their employers stop there plans to end there final salary pensions. On the same news channel an MP was calling for public sector employees to give up their pension rights (retiring at 60 years of age), when are the masses in this country going to wake up to the propaganda machine?

The reason that public sector employees have such good pensions is over the years they have accepted part of their yearly pay rise has been an increase in their pension entitlement. Other sectors of the employment battle ground have managed to get over the years large pay rises and no increase in their pensions because the believed that their finial salary schemes [linked to the stock market) would see them right in their old age.

Wrong, yet again. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it’s never relying on anyone else. Or in the words of one of my old bosses “Trust No One and Count Your Money after Your Father”. Now I know that sounds a bit hard. But believe me it’s not a bad way to lead your life.

At work today it’s been a day of people finding things on there desks that are urgent, or were when they were given them to do several weeks ago. Why do I have to suffer for their inefficiency? It’s always Can You, Will You.

Or my favorite is WE ARE IN TROUBLE. How can I be in trouble just because they have only just asked me for facts and numbers which are needed for meetings tomorrow. Well let’s just say that they were sweating, but as usual the fool comes through.

You would think I would have an endless supply of chocolate on my desk, but no, as soon as they have been bailed out of the SHI!, they do not want to know till the next time.

But that’s just life.

By the way can anyone tell me how I leave home in the morning and do not spend any money all day, but still come home with less than I went out with???????

Defiled and Debased

Defiled and Debased

I feel defiled and debased; when I’m out walking with my beloved they keep grabbing my butt. This makes me feel humiliated and abused a sex object for their personal pleasure.

Now I notice that there is a lot of this sort of thing going on in the public streets these days. Surly it’s about time this sort of thing was made illegal, hey Teflon Tony here’s an idea for you. Instant fines for offending public (and mine) decency, after all you get fined for everything else in this country.

After all it’s not so long ago that our government wanted to make sex in public toilets legal (I wonder why?).

Surely it’s against the Public Order Act. Well maybe not, do we wish to put our partners in the same category as sexual exhibitionists.

Most decent people feel repulsed at the thought of the physical and mental revulsion felt by another human being at being subject to unwanted advances in private let alone on the street.

So come on you women, let us men keep some pride. Keep your hot and sweaty hands to yourselves.

Yahoo Search

Yahoo Search

Give your self a treat do a yahoo search on TEFLON TONY.

Mobile Telephone Contracts

Mobile Telephone Contracts

Now as you may have guessed I’m a bit of a gadget junkie, ever since I had my first Psion (16K, built like a brick). I hate to think how much hard cash I have spent over the past 15 years on these gizmos; looking at the bookcase I can see a Psion, Fitjtos and an Ipaq, All in use at any one time.

About three years ago I moved to a smart phone, the first was a Sony Erickson T610 which I have to say was very good. Its main failing as far as I was concerned was its screen size. Apart from that it was excellent, as they say it did what it said on the box. In fact my brother in law is still using it.

Then Twelve months ago I moved to a Nokia 6600, what a unit this was. The screen is larger, the email facility is excellent, it uses the symbian operating system so third party bits and bobs worked and worked well. The only niggle that I had and still have is that it’s so useful I stopped carrying my camera with me. The images from this telephone are not good. But it’s so small, and who wants to carry a big bulky camera with them. So the solution is obvious to me, I need a PDA that thinks it’s a phone or a phone that thinks it’s a PDA.

After an exhaustive search I found just what I was looking for the Orange SPV M500, so as my contract expiries today I telephoned them to get one, sorry they say you can only have that handset with our small business users contracts, I pointed out it was still up on their web site on offer for normal contracts. But they would not budge, so it looks like I will have to accept there offer of an SPV C550 on a Two weeks trial. I do not think I could use a standard mobile anymore.

However why do people or company’s, YES ORANGE I MEAN YOU. Advertise one thing and then refuse to allow you to take up there offers. Is a web site any different than a shop window? If it’s advertised of sale or on contract then it should be honoured. Not flob of your customers with something however good it may be that they did not want.

Life after Work

Life after Work

Is there a life after work? Well I always thought there was. After paying in to our National Insurance System for the past Thirty Six years I was like many in this country under the impression that my contributions would ensure that I had a reasonable standard of living when I come to retire. Wrong.

Screwed yet again by our government. Just what is it that makes our government leaders and top bosses think that they can retire on grossly inflated pensions whilst the workers who have slaved away to provide them with the means to accumulate their money get next to nothing. On average they retire on a pension of Twenty Six times the size of ours. How ever I have to say that some novel ways have been thought of to bring everyone’s attention to the shambles that this has become.

The other political parties are no better just read the rubbish that the Lib Dems have come up with. Might it not be a good idea if the pensions given from the public purse for Members of Parliament be WITHDRAWN     , LET THEM TRY AND MANAGE ON THE PITANCE OF A STATE PENSION, IN FACT LET THEM DO SOME BLOODY WORK TO QUILIFY FOR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

It’s enough to make you want to spit, sorry I forgot Teflon Tony and his mates would fine me for doing that in a public place.

Road Signs and Fog

Fog, Road Signs and Four Star Hotels

Well today Monday the 21st (this will not be posted till the next day). I had the dubious pleasure of travelling from my native Cornwall up to the ungodly city of Birmingham. Just about 250 miles, most of it on the country’s motorway system. The reason for this trip, I have to attend a user group for the data base system that I am the administrator for.

Now I look forward to these occasional trips away from home, they give me a chance to recharge my batteries and talk to like minded individuals.

So to the title of this little piece, Fog, Road Signs and Four Star Hotels.

Why do we have these very expensive signs on the motorway saying FOG when the weather is so bad that you can hardly see them?  

The weather was so atrocious that the lunatic who was driving me had to keep both hands on the steering wheel for at least part of the journey. Unfortunately not for the entire journey, my nerves will never be the same again. Tact did not work nor did my usual version of tact, nor did saying put your hands back on the FUC!ING Wheel. So I just suffered (don’t laugh).

How can people drive at such speeds in dense fog? Impossible to see more than a few hundred yards and the traffic was moving along at a steady 80 MPH, not that it worried my driver he overtook the lot of them. HEY COME ON FOLKS THE NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT IN THE UK IS 70 MPH.     

Still we have arrived safe and in my case reasonably sound, went to reception to book in (four star hotel, so not a dump) what happens? No booking, no rooms, we had been booked in by the hotel for tomorrow. Now the receptionist started to argue until I told her that I had made the booking myself. After a visit to the manager things were sorted and the keys were handed over.

Now I know things have moved on in the world, but foolish that I am I looked around for the porter to carry my bags along to my room. That illusion was soon shattered, no such thing as a porter any more. Not that I minded, I have always found that if I let anyone else carry my computer equipment they treat it as though it’s a solid block of steel and bash and knock it to hell and gone.

Even worst was to come. After unpacking my bag and checking out the toiletries in the bathroom (I had been instructed by the wife to bring them home with me). I thought great it’s a nice room. I will log on and download my emails. Big mistake. No wireless signal. A telephone call through to reception confirmed my worst fears. This supposedly modern hotel does not have any wireless systems installed. But not to be beat I had packed my blue tooth toggle. So that in an emergency I could use my mobile telephone to log on.

Bugger it no signal. Back to the receptionist who now very kindly told me that if I had the correct lead I could use the data socket on the telephone in my room. Yep you guessed it. Who had not brought the lead? Almost everything else but not the modem lead. Hence you will not be reading this till tomorrow, if you are very unlucky.

Who do you believe

Who do you believe?

Now it was my intension to stay away from politics with this blog but as the days go on I become more and more insulted by the actions of our government. Yep I know I may or may not have voted for them, but by there actions I feel insulted. Might even have a case for compensation under the Human Rights Convention, hell everyone else is using it. For everything from softer beds in jail to becoming sweaty and hot in a prison van.

What has really got up my goat today is that this/our government deny bringing a NANNY STATE to this country. So what if I want to smoke, so long as I do not injure others in my pursuit of this. What’s it got to do with them, the cost to the National Health Service they say?

Crap it’s the smokers of this country who by virtue of their taxes have more than paid for the so called National Health Service.

All of a sudden its bad for you to go out drinking, I’m a teetotaller but I respect anyone’s wish to go out and have a drink or even serveral so long as they do so in a manner which will only harm themselves if they go to far.

First it was RED meat, clogs up your arteries. So the government says eat less of it. What they do not say is that they demand the farmers put all sorts of chemicals into the cow before its slaughtered.

Then it was eggs, they had to be cooked to destroy Salmonella. Fine but once you do that there is no taste to them. One of Natures Pre-Packed Convenience foods ruined by, well you know who.

Hey lets not forget this is England, home of the spanking fetish, so what do our government do. Right make it illegal to spank your children. But and here’s the rub will it apply to MP’s as well or are they like most things except from the laws of the land?

Just do not get me started on those bloody speed cameras that they have put up every where they are likely to make money, notice I do not say save life’s. If it was for that I could live with them. But no one believes that anymore. Might as well put one in our cul-de-sac. I can promise you that you will catch young Justin every time he turns into the cul-de-sac (boy racer that he is).

Sorry I have strayed of the track so to speak, drags self back to the reason of this post.

Pensions.

I have worked and paid into my UK.PLC pension pot for the last 39 years. I paid into a private pension for 24 years. I have saved hard for a very long time and thought (foolish me) that in a very few years I could retire and write foolish drivel on the internet, But what do the leaders of our country come up with now? They want me to carry on working till I’m 67. Sod that. Fair notice, in a few years time I’m going to become a Member of Parliament. Work for one term of office, milk my expenses for all they are worth and then retire with a bloody wonderful pension. JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT.

You just have to read this.
Your details are sold to car park extortionists

Inconsiderate Parking

Inconsiderate Parking

Just what is it that turns nice people into inconsiderate morons when they are behind the wheel of a car? I live in a cul-de-sac, which has allotted parking spaces for the residents and a number of visitor bays.

So what’s so bloody wonderful about my parking bay, notice the use of the word MINE, I worked for it, I own it, its mine, so stay the hell out of it. But people think that because it’s empty they have the right to leave their car in my parking bay with impunity. Well their wrong.

Why should I have to park at the far end of the cul-de-sac in a visitor bay just because they are too lazy to read the signs/or walk.

I’m always polite, when I point out this to the morons; well I am the first time. But get progressively ruder as the number of times increase.

I have heard all the reasons.

“I will only be a few minutes”, then park in the visitors bays.
“We thought you were not home”, does the bay stop belonging to me if I’m not home.
“But there’s plenty of room, park over there”, why should I and that belongs to one of my
neighbours. Should I steal their parking place because you have taken mine?


I believe this is just an example of the way people live there life these days. Everything is rush, the pace of life is horrendous. Well I live in a rural location in Cornwall, not in some big city.

If I want to take my time and live a sensible life I should not have to accommodate these morons. Take shopping in the supermarkets. It’s dangerous these days, even the little old ladies will have your ankles off with the end of their trolleys if you do not jump out of the way. Women with children are the worst of all.

Yes they are having to cope with the shopping and the children, but here’s the rub I did not make them pregnant so their children are not mine so why should I have to suffer their noise and rudeness.

The faces of these people when you explain that the edge of the trolley they have just hit you with hurts and would they like it if you returned the assault. Because if you do not tell them and out loud you will never get an apology, that’s when you hear the drivel about how hard it is to go shopping with the children and that’s when I tell them their not my children. ITS ONE OF THE PERKS OF LIFE TO SEE THEIR FACES.

Doctors and Dentists

Doctors & Dentists

Do you not think that the pendulum has swung too far over the past few years?

Not so long ago if you were feeling unwell you went along to your doctors surgery, waited for a short period of time and then saw your doctor (am I dreaming).

Now days you have to telephone the surgery, hope that they answer the phone but more often than not you wait in a queue for ages. When you do get through, you are greeted by someone who is so obviously bored and fed up that you want to throttle them before the conversation even starts.

This is a typical telephone conversation with my surgery "Appointments, I need to make an appointment to see my doctor, are you registered here, yes (of course I bloody well am or I would not be telephoning the appointments number), who's your doctor, (why do they ask you know you are not going to get to see him.

Then they ask if it’s urgent, why you would not be waiting in the telephone queue if it was not urgent, the next appointment is in 3/5/7 days at some silly time that means you need to take a day off work.

The medical profession must be costing this country a fortune in lost days from work. This is from people who received there training from the nation (National Health Service).

Dentist are even worst they get there training on the national health service then start a surgery by accepting patients on the national health service, then very soon after what do they do?

THEY GO PRIVATE AND YOU HAVE TO PAY. Daylight robbery I call it. Have you ever seen a poor dentist?

Communications.

Tell me why someone who hates telephones as much as I do, has to have a telephone on his office desk, one at home and a mobile in his pocket all the time. I have email both at work and at home. Also access to fax machines in both locations, in other words I’m easy to contact at any time or anyplace.

Why then do I keep hearing, sorry but we tried to contact you. The next time some idiot says that to you just ask them HOW? Stops the conversation in its tracks.

What Im going to do this weekend is to arange for all of my home and mobile numbers not to accept calls where the number is withheld, there must be a way.

Well this Friday here in the UK is children in need day; everyone is expected to give money to help children in need. Now I might be considered tight with money (its true I am) but why should I be expected to help someone else’s children? No one ever helped me when I was a child.

Even the staff at work are trying to get in on the act, sending an email to all (there are over 400 staff where I work) offering to wash your car in there lunch break, well all I did was ask them if they would clean the inside as well. It’s unfair to say they were thinking of reporting my car to the local health authority.

As a health hazard.

Fear and greed.

Fear and greed, they are the two emotions that drive the world. It’s always been said that the stock exchanges of the world run on these two emotions, well if you are an investor on them it most certainly true. Just how many of us are investors in these great and wonderful institutions. Well anyone who has a pension, a mortgage or any sort of life insurance.

Do you find it worrying that your home or your secure old age is controlled by some ones fear or greed? Well I do. You work hard and long to provide for your family but at the end of the chain it’s someone’s fear which is contributing towards putting a roof over your head.



Now I do not know what system of celebrating birthdays your place of employment uses, but at my daily toil everyone buys BUNS on their birthday. Yes it can be expensive when you have to cough up for fifty buns, but hey you get to eat them free for the rest of the year. It’s just something too look forward to. Breaks up the momentous grind, it’s even a sport to see who can get from one office to the next first, its not unknown for doors to be held shut and for a certain amount of pushing and shoving to take place, thinking about it they are like children in a playground. It’s a kind of pastime to see who can find the best or nicest type of buns.

Now there is always one in every life who has to be different and over the past few years we have been treated to Fresh Cream and Strawberries, Ice Creams, or in the case of one silly no nothing person fresh air, that’s right eat buns like they are going out of fashion but does not return the things. Give me some suggestions on what should be done?????

Mother's Ruin

Hey it’s Monday, that means that I get the pleasure not only of cooking the dinner but washing up as well and why because of the Soap Opera’s on Television.

Soap Opera’s are the new bingo (mothers ruin). Why are women glued to the television for such trivial rubbish? Home & Away, Coronation Street, Neighbours, Emmerdale. Hell if any family had such life then they would all be in prison or run out of town on a rail. Now I do not watch the television but it’s on behind me whilst I’m on the computer so I have to listen to it. There are certain characters in these show who if they were to be believed, have slept with all the men in the street or on the farm or wherever.

From what I know of one show (and its not much) there is one family who have had their husband murdered, lived with yet another murderer, the daughter of the family had a baby at 13 whilst still at school, then had a nervous breakdown recovered in time to sleep with several other men, then got rid of one boy friend because he liked fish. Has the hot's for one of her mates boyfriend and tried to bonk him in a cupboard under the stairs, what’s more unbelievable is that he ran away, idiot. This is all supposed to be believable.

At the moment the wife is watching one show and listening to it I can remember that the woman who is talking has beatern up and imprisoned her beast friend, then murdered her. Slept with god knows how many different men. Imprisoned and drugged her own father, stolen from him, sold his prized motor bike. Chased his girlfriend away from the village. Now she’s just warned off another woman who is showing an interest in the village doctor who she is planning to trap.

GO ON TELL ME THE NAME OF THE TELEVISION SHOWS!!!!!!!!!

The television networks should be ashamed off themselves for brain washing a whole generation with this pap.



First I must explain to anyone who might or might not read my ramblings, I do not moan, I do however observe the things in life that most people miss. Whilst at work today trying to concentrate (in fact trying to sort out keying error's going back to 2002 in our database). The number of people who walk into my office complaining that they do not have enough time in their working day to get their work done, but spend hours complaining about it. SOD off out of my office and let me get on with my work.

Why other people's inability to complete their work on time my problem. Why Oh Why is it me they come and see when in the SHI!. Not to be disparaging do I look like I’m a typist??????? Well the answer to that is no. Well that's out of my system, for a while.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Wow another Sunday, all ready to destroy my illusions of a day of excitement. What happened, well waking up was exciting but after that the day has so far gone to pot. I have the following things to look forward to today.

Shopping, we need to eat.
Ironing, need some shirts for next week.
Washing, last week’s shirts. Why does my wife not believe me when I say these things are meant to be carried out by the woman of the house?

Hey, but it’s not all bad. I need to buy some Christmas Presents. Once again I will end up paying good money (there no such thing as bad money) to buy things for people that I don’t like and the things that I buy will not be what they want. Still I have the pleasurable thought that they will have to do the same for me.

Just before I wander of to the great and wonderful Asda I thought I would have a quick look around the web.

What did I find, a wonderful example of the have and have not's. Someone can afford £3,000,000 to buy a plot of land and a further £1,000,000 to knock down the bungalow on it and build a new house. Bloody hell £4,000,000. It took me 12 years to pay of my mortgage of just £15,745. I work hard and put in long hours. Why should some people have so much more than others (never mind more than the others what I really mean is more than ME).

Man, I wish I had never brought that reclining chair, its stolen more of my time than my employers, I no sooner sit in it pull the lever on the side then hours disappear, I’m out like a light. Yet another fine example of a wasted Sunday. Still when I woke up I thought a nice cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits (the wife had gone to bed) what happens? She wakes up in time to drink my tea and eat the last of the chocolate biscuits.

One thing, the weather here in Cornwall has been superb today, one of those rare winter days when the air is crisp and clear. The light shining on the trees which were losing their leaves (all the colors of the rainbow). But I have great hopes that tomorrow things will be back to normal, rain, wind, dirty grey sky. After all mankind is not supposed to be happy.

It's so unfair

Just what does it take to get some peace and quiet in this world; the wife has just gone to her mothers for the day and left me a shed load of things to do. Hey it’s my day off too. Not that the world is against me but I thought cheese on toast for breakfast, great. Nope it’s burnt, now I have to clean the grill as well as everything else. Life is so unfair.

One of the many jobs left for me by my lovely bride was to collect her prescription from the local chemist/pharmacy, tell me why do they always take your prescription and money make you wait 10 minutes before they tell you that they do not have the full order and can you call back in a few days? It’s like furniture shops these days have very few items in stock, once again they take your money and make you wait for your goods. Is this the way of our goods on demand society? Maybe be our fore bearers did know something after all, they would never pay for the promise of goods in a few days/weeks/months in the future. Hell you can sit on the floor but without medication you can DIE.           

Tefllon Tony

Interesting day on the way to work this morning listening to the radio in the car, there was a 107 year old man who is one of the last 7 soldiers left alive from the First World War. When asked if he thought war could be justified he said, if two governments could not agree and had to go to war then the government members should be given rifles and be made to fight between themselves. In that way whole generations of young men would not lose there life’s. If the members of governments had to fight the wars they start then just how many wars would there be, very few I think. Precious skins and all that.
Found this on the web this evening, I just have to share it with you all. “CHANCES are Tony Blair will still be the Prime Minister in 90 days time. He might no longer be coated in a layer of Teflon, but he's sure to carry on - not least of all because he sees no reason for leaving.” Poor old Teflon Tony, you are looking past your sell by date, if you stay much longer then you will be sold of cheap!

Bah Humbug

Well the Christmas spirit is alive and well after all talk about spread cheer and think of your fellow man, have a look at this link it shows the better side of rich miserable git's lives. I bet his neighbours have large firework displays and do not let the less fortunate people along to watch. Talk about snobs. Just because they have large houses and probably lots of money they do not like the idea of people driving along there road, they block it (who pays road fund tax? ONLY THEM of course). Anyone can drive along their road. People then leave litter, tough, if I did not so far away they would be looking at the contents of my dustbin!!!! It makes me so mad to think that they can have an ASBO issued for an act of charity and generosity. BAH HUMBUG indeed.

Mad Cow Disease, Bird Flu

Well what a wonderful day this has been, still shaking from the asthma attack yesterday and what happens at work. I get asked to go into an office that has just been freshly painted to see if the smell is still in there, bloody hell do they not understand that the strong smell of paint is a trigger for an asthma attack. Now that the nights are drawing in our weekly trip to the local supermarket has to be done in the dark, just what is the percentage of cars driving around with only one headlight, or no sidelights or even no rear lights. How can they get away with driving like that the only time I ever drove with one headlight and I get nicked and the undoubted pleasure of paying our local magistrates the princly sum of £35. Not that I mind helping the government out with the national debt. After all they take 35% of my salary before I even see it. Then there’s VAT on anything that’s any good.17.5%. You have to feel sorry for them after all the monies from the North Sea Oil has nearly all gone and what do I get out of it? Mad Cow disease, Bird Flu,

I'm Perfect

I would just love to find out how, why, or who infected me with this asthma. I would read them from the good book, just before they eat it. Yesterday all I did was work in an office that had been repainted last week. Within minutes I had to leave and use an inhaler to control my breathing. This was fine for the rest of the day. But boy did I suffer when I tried to sleep that night. Asthma is a horrible affliction, it affect different people in different ways. My personal boggy man is when I lie down flat. My nose runs and I have great difficulty in breathing. Last night was so bad that I had to have to day off work. According to the experts, and believe me I have consulted them it’s a life time sentence. Some one some where must be responsible; I know it’s not me because I’m perfect.

Good Day & Council Tax

Now today’s whinge is that I do not have anything to whinge about, how dare the world give me a good day (the first for years), with nothing to upset me. Well apart from the news that Council Tax might/will be going up some 11% next year. Not that I mind if I was getting an 11% pay rise (yep you guessed it I work for the local council), we will be lucky to get 3% in our pay packets. But you can be sure that we will hear all the moans all year long from people who assume that we are on some kind of public funded jolly. I wish.

What a waste

Have you ever thought what a waste a Sunday is, I swear each week that I will get up early and do something, anything except waste the day. No chance, get up have breakfast, and then shopping for the weeks grocery’s. Now I know it’s my fault, but I need to find someone else to blame, after because I waste my life it can not be my fault as I’m perfect.

Neurotic Women and men

Well today I’m not sure what has annoyed me the most, neurotic women or cold food in a restaurant, my French Fries were cold. Not too much of a problem because I did not want them in the first place. I brought them for the wife and only pinched them on principal, they were on her plate so it would be rude not to.

As for neurotic women (men too but not today), why does someone who is normally very competent suddenly become worst than Attila the Hun, talk about mood swings. Try to help and you get your testacies handed to you on a plate. Tell them to chill out and you risk decapitation. Still I suppose it’s lucky I’m known for my tact at least that’s what I think people mean when they say I do not do subtle).

Morons & Motorist's

What is this thing that your average motorist has to do, I mean overtake someone and then slow down to a slower speed that the car they have just overtaken. I just wish I had some form of “Bull Bars” on the front of my little car. Then the shoes would be on the other foot, well some one would be on foot that’s for sure. Then there are the morons who just have to try and force their way in to the nearside lane when the road narrows. I waited in line, waited for my turn and they think that I’m going to let them in. NO WAY, as far as I’m concerned they can wrap themselves around the traffic Island and stay there. Today has proved my point about there being two types of weather, one for the rice and one for the poor. Guess what type I fall in? All day nice sunshine cool breeze, Ten minute before I finish work what happens? The heavens open up and the rain pours down and to add insult to injury, the slight breeze turns into high winds. Just is not fair.

Even more unfair is when I sit down to update this little blog, she who must be obeyed will not leave me in peace. Just wait till she finds out all of the nasty things that she does to me will be listed on these pages for all to read. May be then I will get some peace and quiet. SOME HOPE.

Pre-Packaged Food & Finger Torture

Do you ever morn the passing of the local grocer, well I do when ever I try to open pre-packaged food from the supermarket. I would love to make the people who invent the easy open packs do so in public surrounded by a group of old age pensioners. Now I’m not weak by any imagination, but the packaging on ready sliced meats defeats me. Why so that supermarkets can keep the food fresher for longer. Certainly not for your and mine convenience. Even if you buy sliced meats from the “Deli Counter” what do they do wrap it in plastic and then stick it down with a sticky price label these things are almost imposable to open. What do they think you are going to do slide a tin of beans in the bag? Boy do I wish we could go back to the days of brown paper bags. Which by the way are better for the environment as they are biodegradable?

Whilst I’m bitching about shops and bags who ever started the habit of giving you your change all in one lump, IE. Notes and coins they place it in your hand and you then have a choice of placing the whole lot in your pocket or holding the queue up whilst you separate the money and put the notes in your wallet and the coins in your pocket. Difficult to do if you are holding the items you have just brought.

Cheated yes I feel cheated; in the UK we have a thing called Day Light Saving. Twice a year we do a very silly thing in this country in the winter we put our clocks back and hour, so that 0200 becomes 0100. I think this goes back to the Second World War (see the history of daylight saving) . But what really goes up my nose is that whilst I should be happy to get an extra hour in bed, who the hell can sleep, the wife snores for England, the neighbours have found how to plug in there electric drill and that if they drill holes in the walls it wakes everyone up!!

So I get up and what does the trouble and strife say, how nice you are going to ring me breakfast in bed. So for the privilege off the next few months of having to go to and from work in the dark, I lose one hour of my life and the wife gets breakfast in bed.