Shrinking Clothes

Shrinking Clothes.


Tell me do you ever have one of those days when all you want to do is pull someone's tongue out of their mouth to see how far it would stretch?

Well 2006, so far sucks. More and move I find myself having to sit on my temper. When all I really want to do is above (preferably several feet).

Yesterday I spent all day with my dearly beloved wife tiding up our bedroom and throwing out the crap from our wardrobes. I have been trying to get the wife to sort hers out for months, and yesterday she came up with the idea that we should both sort them out.

I'm ashamed to say that I filled up three big black plastic bags full of clothes that for some reason had shrunk in the wardrobe. Not for a minute do I want you to think that I might have put weight on mind you. How can someone as perfect as me, ever get fat or should that be FAT or even FAT.

No I'm convinced the bloody clothes have shrunk in the wardrobe.

To make matters even worst have you ever checked your cupboards? In mine I found 11 new shirts never even been taken out of the plastic wrappers, 3 new pairs of trousers, hell I even found a new parka coat. More new underpants than our local branch of ASDA has in stock and socks, well they best not be counted. Needless to say that several trip to the local recycling dump were carried out and there's even one more planned.

Writing about the dump reminded me, I live in a remote part of the country, Cornwall to be exact. So how come at 1330 on a Sunday in the deepest part of Cornwall there is a queue to the local dump stretching all the way back to the main highway?

Is it that as a nation we are becoming more aware of the issues of recycling or is it more as I suspect a case of disposing of things in the right place due to the fear of being caught fly tipping? and receiving the excessive fine that goes with getting caught.

Still I'm transgressing (must be because I'm typing this at work), back to the important things in life.

How do I take my revenge on life, taxes, the system, the wife, the girl next door, the motorist who carved me up the other day and all the other things and people who every day raise my blood pressure and annoy me.

Come on, you must have some ideas on how I can return the aggravation????????