Hell I have become a grumpy old man.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day, that’s the day that traditionally we make resolutions on how we are going to behave for the next year. What are my resolutions going to be?

Something boring like quitting smoking? Or something exciting like taking several holidays aboard.

Several years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never care what people thought of me and that I would never again become a workaholic, I think I have managed to catch myself just in time on that one. I have a job which I enjoy, which pays reasonably well (no one tell PM as he’s about to get hit for another pay rise soon).

BUT and as you can see it’s a big BUT, I found myself telling my bosses how to behave, (it’s a throw back to when I could). In future they can make their own mistakes, why should I try to help them by pointing out their errors. It never makes them happy or display feelings of gratitude, the reverse in fact.

So in future I’m going back to the way that I want to be, untouchable, uncareing, unfeeling and totally out for myself and my family.

Well last year objectives were achieved, they mean nothing to anyone except me. However they make me feel all warm inside and so long as I do not become an invalid or die will ensure that I have a comfortable old age.

So what have I decided?

Holidays
Untouchable
Uncaring
Unfeeling


Hell I have become a grumpy old man!

I want to be free.

This is the first Blog that I have written using word recognition software. It's called Dragon Naturally Speaking, so far it seams a brilliant programme. However, I'm sure it will take time before I get used to it. It should, save some of my many spelling mistakes.

Just what it must seem like to the wife doing the washing up in the kitchen and me set here talking to myself, it must seem that I am off my head, which is not a surprise to anyone who knows me as most people think that I am already.

Least, the wife does, she has a grin right across her face, how sarcastic women can be without saying, anything just a look and no words can make you feel like an idiot.

Well it's been a long time since I updated this blog where the time has gone. I have no idea, but put it down to old age. Front now on, we will have to get back to normal and update this thing, almost everyday

Christmas as normal was spent with the wife’s family. I have spent it with the family (living dead), spent a fortune on people I don’t like, buying them things that they didn't want and what did I receive in return two pairs of shoes, which don't fit.

Tell me, what kind of Christmas did you have? Bet it was better than mine, every year, I say the same thing that I will not do Christmas.

In fact I’m just not sure why I put myself through this every year. Might it be that time in my life when I just want to break free? Not the freedom of running around in some distant land throwing my clothes of and screaming. No bugger that. It’s just what I do mean.

I’m fed up of being respectable and honest and nice to people.

I WANT TO BE FREE TO DO AND SAY ANYTHING THAT I WANT.

Trials and Tribulations

Well its one week before Christmas, the wife’s birthday is over, thank heavens for that as I have no idea what to buy her for presents.

Why is it women are so hard to buy presents for. You would think that they would be easy, you would think that you could buy them perfume, chocolate or other small items But no it doesn’t’t work quite like that.

I love my wife very much but there are times when is she is one massive problem usually at Christmas or her birthday. My problem is that they both happen in December each year.

Being a man what chance do I have?  there is no way that I can find gifts that will suit her and please her. So once again I like many men at this time of year am in trouble with she who must be obeyed.  

Wouldn’t’ it be nice if just once we could get it right and not have to face the trials and tribulations that will be heaped upon our heads over the next few days.

My Hero.

The director of a local charity had never received a donation from the town's most successful business, so he asked for a contribution.

"Our records show you make £500,000 a year, yet you've never given a penny to charity," the director began. "Would you like to help our community by doing so now?"

The boss replied "Did your research show that my aged mother is no longer able to care for herself, and is currently in an expensive nursing home?"

"Um, no," mumbled the director.

"Or that my brother is not only blind, but unemployed?"

The stricken director began to stammer out an apology.

"Or that my sister's husband recently died in an accident," said the boss, his voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three kids to look after?"

The humiliated charity director said helplessly, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"So," said the boss, "if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"



Sent to me by the bitch (she thought correctly that it would appeal to my sense of hummor...

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I ever in trouble, I need to come up with a great birthday present for the wife, by next Thursday. Or I will suffer a horrible fate. DEATH BY NAGGING.

But that’s not all I then need to find her a Christmas present for the next week.
If you have any ideas please, please let me know.

No clothes. Smelly's, pets, soft toys, chocolates.

Prize for the person who saves the day.

Just what is going on?

Just what is going on?


On my way to work yesterday, I was “carved up” twice by other motorists. Some people just do not seem to care these days. Whatever happened to the joys of motoring, it’s more like the old movie Death Race.

What I would like to do is when this happens is to take a picture of the morons and publish it here on the blog. In fact anyone who anoys me could well find themselves being published. After all the way I look at things is if someone’s going to go out of their way to annoy me then I’m prepared to go out of mine to get even.

In fact I’m a great believer in the old saying “I made it up and I’m old”, always get even but do it first.

Hey it’s Saturday, guess what I have the pleasure of doing this morning. Present shopping for the wife’s birthday next Friday and also for Christmas presents for her and the rest of the clan.

My attitude to Christmas Presents is it’s a complete and utter waste of money. YOU SPEND MONEY YOU CAN ILL AFFORD, ON PEOPLE YOU DO NOT LIKE, ON THINGS THAT THEY DO NOT WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THEY DO THE SAME FOR YOU.

The shopkeeper who thought of this atrocious idea must be laughing in his grave, because all of the shop owners who have succeeded him are. Just look at the over priced rubbish they try to sell us at this time of year.

Well I’m back from a mornings shopping in our fair city of Truro, what a waste of time. A wallet with money in it, three hours, what do I have to show for it. Soar Feet for one thing, bruised sides. Where the great unwashed humanity have been pushing and shoving me. The old ladies are the worst. When I stepped back to let one elderly lady out of a shop door she was closely followed by what seemed to be the rest of the inhabitants of a large housing estate.

Items purchased.

One birthday card
One crossword game for the mother in law.

Bugger all else.

Am I ever in trouble, I need to come up with a great birthday present for the wife, by next Thursday. Or I will suffer a horrible fate. DEATH BY NAGGING.

But that’s not all I then need to find her a Christmas present for the next week.
If you have any ideas please, please let me know.

No clothes. Smelly's, pets, soft toys, chocolates.

Prize for the person who saves the day.

Cut off your nose to spite your face

The Un-National Health Service.

The Un-National Health Service.


Never mind the national lottery, try the National Health Lottery. Works by post code or who you know or how much money you have to pay for the free service.

What did Aneurin Bevan say, "We have been the dreamers, we have been the sufferers, now we are the builders. We enter this campaign at this general election, not merely to get rid of the Tory majority. We want the complete political extinction of the Tory Party.".

After all never mind the people who pay for your service just let them die, because as we all know dead people do not vote or write letters or complain. Now we have National Health Managers making decisions about who and when treatment should be given to patients. Not the trained medical staff.

May be the administrators of the National Health Service would like to perform some operations, there that’s a way to save money, you can imagine some white collar worker who has just told a surgeon he could not labour party
Perform any more operations this month because he was too expensive, then carrying out a few heart transplant operations himself.

Never mind you will die, it will make their figures look good and help to balance the books.

Might I be so bold to make a suggestion? Could not these good people practice their medical skill on some of the balmy politicians who come out with this crap? They have a manta, save money, meet targets, save money, and meet targets.

Well and everyone else in this country are coming to the conclusion that we might use one to. GET STUFFED, GET STUFFED.

Here in Cornwall, we are slightly backward, so are some of our surgeons. Praise be to god. One did not have waiting lists, now we all know that administrators can not stand anyone sticking out from the norm. So what do they do? Yep you guessed it. MAKE PATIENTS WAIT.

Now if this is making you feel faint, or raising your blood pressure you have two choices.

One, if you are an ex prime minister you can be admitted at once and undergo countless tests.

Or two, you can join some of the people on this list. Or you can because you are not important (unless your vote is wanted), try this approach.

Do I sound miffed or annoyed? Well I am. Not at this blatant disregard for promises made during an election, that I can live with. After all none of us are stupid enough to believe a politician.

What upsets me is that I never wanted this blog to be used for any comments about politics. It’s meant for me to let of steam about things that wind me up every day of my life. So to keep things in perspective, here I go.


THE WIFE. LIFE, DEATH AND TAXES.

Im not a celebrity so leave me alone.

I’m not a celebrity, so leave me alone

Now I do not know where in the world you might be, but here in the UK one of those reality television programmes has just finished (thank god). Trivial rubbish that they are. Take a bunch of minor celebrities and place them in a jungle environment for two weeks.

Well if I had my way they would have been left there for two YEARS, without daily food drops, medical advice or television cameras.

What did we have to look at has been soap stars, failed comedians, a child singing star, well past his prime, a well I’m not sure what you would call him (antique dealer, comedian, walley) and an Ex Prime Ministers Daughter. Who until the series started almost no one in the country had ever heard off.

Who won?

Only in England, it was the woman who in the first few days could not be bothered to use the toilet in the middle of the night but peed beside her bed (with such ease, one wonders if she is used to doing that sort of thing)

Yes, you guessed it the daughter of the Iron Lady. Carol Thatcher.

Personally I would like to think that she did it on her own merit, a formidable lady in her own right. But what does she do, on the night she won. Keep making comments about her mother, and voting.

They should all be reported to the relevant animal rights organisations in Australia, it can not have been very nice for the bugs and snakes that were placed in cages and pits to have this crazy bunch of people rolling on them and eating them ( kangaroo bollocks for one). Just think how the kangaroo might have felt, after all fancy seeing your private parts sliding down her throat.

Smoking a rich mans drug

Smoking a rich mans drug

When I was a very young man (not that many years ago), smoking was a poor person’s desire. The rich have always had more sense that to spend money to destroy their health. Now days a packet of Twenty cigarettes costs £5.

The maths is very easy £5 X 7 days = £35 X 52 weeks = £1820. That’s how much it costs these days. No longer a poor mans problem.

The reason for this ramble is that for the past 38 years I have been a Twenty a day man, at today’s rate that means that I have spent over £69, 000. Hell that’s real money.

What could I have done with all that money? Well I could have brought

Renault Clio Dynamique                              = £ 7,900
Top of the line laptop                                   = £ 1,000
Digital camera                                        = £    250
Designer suits (5)                                   = £ 1,500
Martell V.S. Coqnac (10 bottles)                         = £    160
DVD player (with hard drive)                              = £    500
Deposit on a flat                                   = £25,000

Total                                             = £36320

That still leaves over £33,000 left over. WOW with that I could buy 6,600 packets of cigarettes and smoke to my hearts content.

See I am addicted to the bloody weed.

If our government really wants to help people to stop smoking then they should banish the sale of cigarettes across the whole national. Well that will not happen as they like the tax money too much.

Lets face it people who die from cigarettes do not vote, but large tobacco companies spend money like water at election time. Plus they have thousands of workers.

So let’s cut the crap, the government could not give a toss about the health of the nation. They just want the money and your vote. After all they have increased the tax on cigarettes over the past 15 years by some 215%.

Remote Control

Well ?

I walk and so does money my money

I walk and so does my money.

Back in the mists of time (about 7 years ago), one of the very large Insurance Company’s had a bright idea of starting up an internet bank. Just how they came upon the name of "EGG" I have no idea.

Millions of small investors, brought their allotted shares. Not too many because the company wanted to save the bulk of the shares for the big institutions.

Now I seem to remember that the shares at the floatation were priced at 1.60 each and small investors could only buy 470 of them, each.

After all of this time, and never having paid a premium the insurance company wants to buy them back. WAIT FOR IT, AT THE PRICE OF £1.18. Not in cash mind you, but in shares, Pru shares.

Now when they were trying to sell EGG back in 2004, they wanted over £2 a share but when it comes to buying it back. Bet you can read my mind.

So far, from rewarding their loyal investors they are taking them to the cleaners. Why am I surprised at such behavior, by now at my time of life I should expect treatment like this?

Carry on the Pru, I hereby swear that you will never see another penny of my money. Egg accounts will be closed, credit card destroyed. All investments in the future will be checked very carefully to ensure that your dirty little hands never touch my money again.

I hope that others will do the same.