Joke,, Bad Dog,,Joke

Real story by a Man who was standing in a
queue in Tesco's.........

I have 2 dogs and I was buying a large bag of
Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was
starting the 'Winalot Diet' again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete, so, I was going to try it again.

I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with
my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if
I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no, it was because
I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I
thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he
staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog
food??

Are the cash cow cameras on their way out??????

Swindon council plans to get rid of speed cameras

What a shock, when they can no longer keep the money they rob from the public they want to get rid of the cash cow cameras. I say lets not only get rid of the cameras lets get rid of the politicians as well.

After all they have their noses in the trough or in our pockets all the time. Just what has caused the currant credit crunch we all hear about as the reason why more and more of the money is disappearing from our pockets, and making its way into there's.

And, in this time of uncertainty, people are rightly asking politicians: what's your plan?

Yep I know they plan to have very expensive meetings to raise the level of their expenses and their own pay at the expense of the rest of us who have to keep pay rises below 3% or what ever they decide to call the inflation rate this week.

We all know that its far more likely to be around 12% than 3. But when can we the working people of this country claim out meals on expenses, or a new kitchen or wide screen televisions.

You will wish that you had written this?

Subject: Passport Application


Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. Detector van can tell if my T.V. Is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... The one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!

I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor...
Who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.

Not One Of Us.

Now what idiot think that they can use a "company" credit card for personal expenditure. The Metropolitan POLICE Commander that's who.

He must or should know, that other officers in his force are under investigation for the self same thing. He would have had the finial say on their punishment, the old saying of pots and kettles springs to mind. Or rather do as I say not as I do.

How much longer do we the idiots paying for these monstrous !uck ups have to continue? From the news stories it is blatantly obvious that the man was promoted not on his abilities but to ensure the Metropolitan Police did not end up with a court case of racialism. Now I have been known to call people names! Whats wrong with the truth? Ho I forgot here in the United Kingdom we now longer have any right to the truth.

The married police chief, who had six mistresses, was also was accused of drug abuse, hiring prostitutes, spying for Iran and making a series of threatening phone calls to a former girlfriend.

He allegedly warned her: 'I will take such revenge from you that, like a dog, you will be sorry.'

Now I do not mind him threatening his former girlfriend and I do not really mind him stealing money from the people of London (they have too much as it is), what pisses me of is that he may have been cruel to a dog. If so he should be castrated, preferably with two house bricks.

'It will be interesting to see if he is treated as robustly as other officers who have been caught up in the expenses probe.' Remembering that he was at the centre of a four-year £4m investigation over allegations of perverting the course of justice and misconduct in public office.

Operation Helios, the extraordinary Scotland Yard investigation into corruption allegations made against the Iranian-born Dizaei, which emerged shortly after he had joined the Met from the Thames Valley force.

He was cleared of the charges by the Old Bailey in 2003.

Blears PC loss - officials blamed

Information on a computer stolen from Communities Secretary Hazel Blears' office had been sent in breach of data security rules, it has emerged. So reports the BBC.

If the Mp's of this country had to pay for the bits of kit they leave all over the place maybe they would look after it.

Normal people have to save for months to afford a new laptop, I bet this one cost her nothing in money but its cost her a whole load of political trouble.

Wonder of wonders, what excuse did they come up with ? The Communities and Local Government department admitted its officials had "not fully" complied with guidance on handling sensitive data.

This fills me with dread after all the information that our government departmental officials have managed to LOSE over the past 12 months. But they are still going ahead with the ill thought out idea of ID cards.

I say lets treat them like bras were treated in my youth, big bomb fires spring to mind.

Drivers now charged almost £2 a litre

Shameful, discussing, profiteering. These are what during the Second World War they used to call the black marketeers. To be honest tar and feathering was too good for them and far to good for greedy garage owners who are profiteering from this fuel strike.

I hope that when the strike is over that the tanker drivers REFUSE TO DELIVER to garages who are charging vastly inflated prices for the few precious litres of fuel that they are supplying to desperate motorist.

At the very least the motorists who normally fuel up at these garages should start a boycott until the garage owners go bankrupt. This may well serve as a warning to others.

The biggest con appears to be by a Devon petrol station boss charging drivers £1.99 a litre - more than £9 a gallon - for petrol and diesel. Prices at the BWOC Foxhayes Garage at Exwick, Exeter, Devon, are nearly double the average £1.18 pence per litre price for petrol in the area.

Since this appears to be such a bad case of exploitation this garage has been added to the Pigs at the Trough web site normally reserved for our esteemed leaders.

What the hell are they complaining about

Shell tanker drivers

Now I'm all for the rights of the working man and have never been one to side with the "Bosses". But it is not making sense to me that anyone who is basically a driver of a heavy goods vehicle could be paid £32,000 back in 1992.

That's just so plainly wrong. Its greedy. In 1992 I was working for our local bus company driving a bus carrying up to 70 people at a time and I was very lucky to get £12,000 a year working my socks off and doing overtime every day.

Lets face it if they are now on £36,000 a year they are still far better off than the majority of people they are affecting by their actions.

Just how many HGV drivers are getting anywhere near that sort of money? Not very many I bet. I consider myself to be well paid for the area of the country that I live (never tell my boss I said that) but I do not get anywhere near that amount even now.

My weekly fuel bill to get to and from work of around £30 a week. So if these money hungry sods get more then I will have to pay more, its bad enough with the politicians with there noses in the trough along with the oil companies, but who do you think will end up paying for any increase that they get, it will me and the little people like me who have no voice.

One thing is for sure our wonderful government will not tell the truth about how the strike is affecting the country, well not till its too late and then they will just flounder around like they always do. If we listen to them its all AOK and there is no reason to panic, but when I can not get to work I will not get paid! Are the tanker drivers or their union going to pay my bills or put food on the plates of the Grumpy household, no way, on £36,000 a year they will be off to the sunshine. With that much money coming in now wonder they can afford to strike and have a long weekend off!

Added on Wednesday the 18th June 2008

Sorry they have the nerve to say sorry, yea right.

Mrs Grumpy and the NHS.

Now one of the reasons that I have not had much time to play with the PC over the past few months is that Mrs Grumpy has been unwell, very very sick in fact. After a stroke she was admitted to hospital for over two months (scared the shit out of me). I have to say that the medical treatment that she received was fantastic.

All praise to the doctors and nurses who treated her and put up with my telephone calls and visits. Even my eternal thanks to the doctor who suffered the rough end of my brother-in-laws tongue, when he though that the doctor was not doing enough for his sister.

But what was a shock to me, was the fact that the careers that have been assigned to visit her after being released from hospital are so poorly trained. May be that's unkind, they are providing an excellent service but when I asked what training they received I was surprised to find that they are trained to something called NVQ2 standard but no medical or first aid training.

And to read between the lines once again I find the root of the problem is cut backs in the National Health Service. The supply of careers has been farmed out to private agency's and you can bet whilst they meet the need it will be minimal as the main priority of these business's is to make a profit.

I bet if I was a MP she would not be in a National Health Hospital but in a private clinic and when she came home would have full time trained nurses to look after her full time around the clock not two 10 minute visits a day (they put down 30 minutes). Is my wife any different than that of an MP's. Shes just as precious to me, more so in fact. The fact that I do NOT have access to the public purse with its limitless reserves to be plundered with impunity means that I will have to accept what I'm offered.

But be warned you have awakened a sleeping giant.

Well blow me down with a feather

Just goes to show what happens with old age, I have not updated this blog for over a year. Hell that's a lifetime. Now I will make up for that I promise.
Still I'm happy to see that there are some misguided soles out there who have logged on and viewed the pages. Thinking about it my attitude has not changed very much.

I still think that the world has gone to hell in a hand basket (I like that saying), there is no time for anyone any more. Now I blame the government for most of the ills of my existence. Them and the faceless ones who have swallowed the "book" of rules that have been produced by politicians and taken as gospel by idiots.


Of course these rules do not apply to the exalted ones see above or any of there most obedient servants. Just the unwashed minority (the rest of us). A quick search of the Internet has produced rather a large crop of MP's who the press have alleged had their noses deep in their favorite food, the public purse trough. Now I like to put links in place for you to view these wonderful stories about our esteemed public servants but this page is just not big enough. But our friend at Google have given me a wonderful tool that I have only just discovered.

I'm going to create a web page full of links to articles about our lords and masters with their snouts in the trough so to speak. The link will follow soon I promise.