Crust of bread.
What a week, this has been. I have just found out that the bug I had at the beginning of the month is still hanging around. The old saying is true “its not the coughing you need to worry about it’s the coffin they carry you of in”.
Work has been a right pain, I am beginning to think that SAD (seasonal affective disorder” is affecting some of my work mates. People who are normally happy and up for anything are down in the dumps and can think of no reason for it. Work colleges who are normally a pain in the arse are now unbearable.
Thank god for my well known tact and diplomacy!
Yesterday Friday, I had my day planned.
I thought go to work early and catch upon the urgent paperwork, then I can surf some of my opposites web sites (for ideas), then a couple of telephone calls to catch up on how things are in the world. Speak to the IT section and get them to sort out some of the more niggling problems that our staff face.
But catch 22 strikes again.
So I spent the morning preparing a report for one of our senior officers, knowing that he would not understand a tenth of it. Trying to explain to him just what ACCESS can and can not do. I’m sure that he thinks you just speak to the computer and it then goes away and writes the code and places it in a menu structure for you. But in the afternoon I had to talk to him for an hour (never a pleasant experience) and explain the contents of the report. See how I suffer for my crust of bread.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Sods Law.
Sods Law.
Do you ever have a day when nothing that you do appears to be correct? Well today was mine. All this week I have been fighting fires and trying to catch up on my work load. Trying to do too many things for too many people.
Reports coming out of my rear end I thought I would never catch up. Plus the added delight of trying to get some common sense out of a government sub contractor.
They produced a report (which will affect our grants, to the tune of £50,000), now the report was incorrect and the only way you can object and get them to correct it is by using their online forms.
Fine not a problem, after all I/we are sure of our case. For once we are 100% correct; they cocked up their assessment of our web site.
No problem thinks I, fill in the online objection form and they can sort it out. NO WAY, SODS LAW STRIKES AGAIN.
The online forms do not work from my email account. Catch 22 or what?
Three hours it took me last night at home not at work to work out that you MUST have the settings in your email package set for plain text only to use their bloody forms. Emails or faxes not acceptable must be the bloody forms.
But to make things complete today. I have met the most unhelpful “helpdesk” ever. I have been in contact with them since last Monday to get them to activate a bit of software on their server so that I can download information that they hold for us. All they have to do is press a mouse button but its taken them FOUR DAYS.
So if you know someone that you dislike get them to use software from Resolution Ltd. I guarantee they will become a bald grey haired little old man overnight.
Now all I have to do tomorrow is get that wonderful Microsoft product Access to work without crashing every time I run a report and I might just might consider that the week has not been a total waste.
Do you ever have a day when nothing that you do appears to be correct? Well today was mine. All this week I have been fighting fires and trying to catch up on my work load. Trying to do too many things for too many people.
Reports coming out of my rear end I thought I would never catch up. Plus the added delight of trying to get some common sense out of a government sub contractor.
They produced a report (which will affect our grants, to the tune of £50,000), now the report was incorrect and the only way you can object and get them to correct it is by using their online forms.
Fine not a problem, after all I/we are sure of our case. For once we are 100% correct; they cocked up their assessment of our web site.
No problem thinks I, fill in the online objection form and they can sort it out. NO WAY, SODS LAW STRIKES AGAIN.
The online forms do not work from my email account. Catch 22 or what?
Three hours it took me last night at home not at work to work out that you MUST have the settings in your email package set for plain text only to use their bloody forms. Emails or faxes not acceptable must be the bloody forms.
But to make things complete today. I have met the most unhelpful “helpdesk” ever. I have been in contact with them since last Monday to get them to activate a bit of software on their server so that I can download information that they hold for us. All they have to do is press a mouse button but its taken them FOUR DAYS.
So if you know someone that you dislike get them to use software from Resolution Ltd. I guarantee they will become a bald grey haired little old man overnight.
Now all I have to do tomorrow is get that wonderful Microsoft product Access to work without crashing every time I run a report and I might just might consider that the week has not been a total waste.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Wallys at the supermarket
Wally’s at the supermarket.
Anyone who reads this blog will know what I think of idiots who can not park their cars correctly. But the idiots at supermarket trolley bays are just as bad.
Twice a week she who must be obeyed forces/allows/treats me to a shopping trip to our local super store. Just lately it’s been a branch of ASDA.
Now I know I’m a grumpy old man, but to be fair to the staff at our local branch, they are very good. Nothing appears to be too much trouble for them; they will even take the trolley to the car in the rain for you after loaning you and umbrella to stay dry in the rain. Even the young man who collects the trolleys from the bays and where ever they have been abandoned in the large car park is so polite that I can find no fault.
Now she who must be obeyed like to use the smaller of the trolley types and when you collect these you have to place a One Pound coin in the handle to release a chain and when you return the trolley to a bay you push the clip in the handle and get your Pound back. Go on you know what I’m talking about.
Then why is it some morons just push there trolleys into the bay, with no regard to what type of trolley it is. More often than not we/I have to move the bigger type out of the way to get to the chain to reclaim our Pound coin.
Well this Sunday I had to more 7 yes that’s right 7 trolleys to get to the chain. I duly clipped the chain to our used trolley and reclaimed my coin. Before I had even got back to my car some one had managed to push there trolley in the place I had made.
There’s no excuse its just plain bloody laziness.
I think supermarkets should charge for all trolleys. Maybe that way people would put them back in the right place.
Anyone who reads this blog will know what I think of idiots who can not park their cars correctly. But the idiots at supermarket trolley bays are just as bad.
Twice a week she who must be obeyed forces/allows/treats me to a shopping trip to our local super store. Just lately it’s been a branch of ASDA.
Now I know I’m a grumpy old man, but to be fair to the staff at our local branch, they are very good. Nothing appears to be too much trouble for them; they will even take the trolley to the car in the rain for you after loaning you and umbrella to stay dry in the rain. Even the young man who collects the trolleys from the bays and where ever they have been abandoned in the large car park is so polite that I can find no fault.
Now she who must be obeyed like to use the smaller of the trolley types and when you collect these you have to place a One Pound coin in the handle to release a chain and when you return the trolley to a bay you push the clip in the handle and get your Pound back. Go on you know what I’m talking about.
Then why is it some morons just push there trolleys into the bay, with no regard to what type of trolley it is. More often than not we/I have to move the bigger type out of the way to get to the chain to reclaim our Pound coin.
Well this Sunday I had to more 7 yes that’s right 7 trolleys to get to the chain. I duly clipped the chain to our used trolley and reclaimed my coin. Before I had even got back to my car some one had managed to push there trolley in the place I had made.
There’s no excuse its just plain bloody laziness.
I think supermarkets should charge for all trolleys. Maybe that way people would put them back in the right place.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
What a diet
What a diet.
To carry on from my last blog. I do not recommend this but its one hell of a way to lose 6 1/2lb in four days, find the germ infested git who infected me and get them to breath on you.
Nearly half a stone in four days that’s some weight loss.
Normally, whilst I appear to be a fat, balding middle aged bloke with no energy. Underneath I’m like the energiser bunny. Bristling with power.
But not at the moment. I have just walked to the car and driven to the local garage for the newspaper. I feel OLD. Looking in the mirror (something that can sometimes take ages, I like looking at things of beauty), I look old and feeble.
If this is what a normal dose of the flu can do to me, what chance do I stand if we get the bird flu in this country. Thinking about it, is it possible to feel any worst than I did yesterday morning. I have to say that once the nose stopped running and the coughing stopped it was like being stoned with out the utopia that goes with it.
So I’m on the up and up. But to those who know me, they know I will never stop till I find the Bastard who gave me this and do them an equally evil deed.
I believe in doing unto others as others would do unto me, but do it first.
To carry on from my last blog. I do not recommend this but its one hell of a way to lose 6 1/2lb in four days, find the germ infested git who infected me and get them to breath on you.
Nearly half a stone in four days that’s some weight loss.
Normally, whilst I appear to be a fat, balding middle aged bloke with no energy. Underneath I’m like the energiser bunny. Bristling with power.
But not at the moment. I have just walked to the car and driven to the local garage for the newspaper. I feel OLD. Looking in the mirror (something that can sometimes take ages, I like looking at things of beauty), I look old and feeble.
If this is what a normal dose of the flu can do to me, what chance do I stand if we get the bird flu in this country. Thinking about it, is it possible to feel any worst than I did yesterday morning. I have to say that once the nose stopped running and the coughing stopped it was like being stoned with out the utopia that goes with it.
So I’m on the up and up. But to those who know me, they know I will never stop till I find the Bastard who gave me this and do them an equally evil deed.
I believe in doing unto others as others would do unto me, but do it first.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Why Im paranoid
Why I’m paranoid
As an over weight asthmatic who has high blood pressure, I have over the years become paranoid about being near anyone with a cold or the flu.
In deed I have been known to tell my fellow workers in the office to please leave and spread their germs somewhere else.
I have the flu vaccination every year without fail. I take vitamins every day and eat lots of fruit.
Does this save me?
NO.
Somehow, some germ infested git has managed to infect me. Not with a version that can be lived with but a particular virulent version. That has me bouncing around the bed in agony when I cough. The amount of moister that is running from my nose would irrigate a small farms crops.
I can only apologise to the environmentalists out there, I have used so many paper tissues this week that a small forest will have been destroyed.
And before there are any sexist remarks, no it’s not MAN FLU.
As an over weight asthmatic who has high blood pressure, I have over the years become paranoid about being near anyone with a cold or the flu.
In deed I have been known to tell my fellow workers in the office to please leave and spread their germs somewhere else.
I have the flu vaccination every year without fail. I take vitamins every day and eat lots of fruit.
Does this save me?
NO.
Somehow, some germ infested git has managed to infect me. Not with a version that can be lived with but a particular virulent version. That has me bouncing around the bed in agony when I cough. The amount of moister that is running from my nose would irrigate a small farms crops.
I can only apologise to the environmentalists out there, I have used so many paper tissues this week that a small forest will have been destroyed.
And before there are any sexist remarks, no it’s not MAN FLU.
Monday, January 02, 2006
The Oxford Radcliffe Hospital
The Oxford Radcliffe Hospital
Just what we all thought one rule for them and one for the rest of us. When Tony Blair was ill he went straight in for his treatment but the The Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Trusts has decided that the rest of us will not be receiving this treatment. They are accused of fiddling the books on their waiting lists to meet government targets, as if.
Just what we all thought one rule for them and one for the rest of us. When Tony Blair was ill he went straight in for his treatment but the The Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Trusts has decided that the rest of us will not be receiving this treatment. They are accused of fiddling the books on their waiting lists to meet government targets, as if.
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